Sim City 5
Another 60$ day-one purchase that EA misses out on due to their insistence on making it an “Origin Exclusive.”
That brings my personal tally up to three games:
- Battlefield 3
- Mass Effect 3
- Sim City 5
It will feel genuinely good when I buy these games for ten bucks on steam after Origin collapses.
Six Flags: Fat / old guy’s survivors guide.
On Saturday my wife and I took a trip to Six Flags: Magic Mountain in Valencia, CA. It had been 13 years since my last visit and I was stoked to ride all the crazy new shit I had driven past so many times. Here are the lessons I learned.
- If you can avoid it, don’t go on the day of the “Hallelujah festival.” The park was packed with bus-loads of christian tweens, who may be the most obnoxious people on the planet. You would think that they would be polite and well behaved, you know, because Jebus is watching and all. You’d be wrong. These little fucks were cutting lines, screaming at the top of their lungs and having annoying conversations that were audible from 50 yards away - all while under the supervision of their “youth ministers”. What do those guys do, anyway? Because it sure isn’t “keep the kids in line.”
- If you are taller than 6’1” you can forget about riding about half the shit in the park. This has nothing to do with being fat. At 6’1” myself I could barely fit my legs into the “standard” sit-down roller coaster cars. I’m talking no room at all between my knees and the front of the car.
- If you’re fat, prepare to have your collarbones bruised by the “newer” rides. Anything with an over-the-shoulder harness that apparently keeps skinny people all nice and snug in these rides become a torture device if you have a gut and man-tits. It’s doable, but if you are much fatter than me, I wouldn’t bother.
- The X2 is the most terrifying roller coaster I’ve ever been on. My wife and I ended up in the first car of this son of a bitch, and let me tell you: I was genuinely afraid for my life. The entire car you’re in switches configurations to make sure that you’re in the most horrifying position possible - and that first drop….fucking awesome. Plus there is a fireball. An actual fireball, no shit. I screamed out “THE FLAMES OF JUSTICE” in abject terror. I’m still not sure what I meant by it.
- The newest roller coaster in the park is called “Green lantern: First Flight.” Like its namesake, it’s a lame fucking superhero. It may have had something to do with my being fat, but this thing was more like a car accident simulator than a “ride”. I felt like I’d had my ass kicked by an army of ill tempered dwarves after I got off, and the first “drop” shifted my body into a position that crushed my nuts, and I couldn’t scoot back until they released the harness at the end of the ride. No bueno. Skip it, or ride it - then tell me I was right.
- The Tatsu is the best roller coaster ever conceived by man in my opinion. I wish I would have ridden it three more times. There is some kind of “inverted flip” that literally crushes the air out of you for a full second or two due to the G-Forces involved. I know that doesn’t sound fun, but trust me, it’s amazing. It’s a “face down” roller coaster, so you literally feel like you’re flying. Top it off with the fact that it was completely fat-guy friendly. Totally comfortable for a guy my size.
- It’s still 100 degrees in mid september in L.A. Don’t bother getting to the park before it opens, unless waiting in a giant mass of sweaty, angry people for the gates to open is your idea of thrilling. The park opens at 10:30. Wait till 11:15, then just walk in like a boss. The sun beating down on your head is not a fun thing either. Bring a hat and sunscreen.
I don’t watch political conventions…
But tonight, as I skimmed through the channels I was like:
“Oh shit! There’s Clint Eastwood.”
He’s standing there in front of a backdrop consisting of himself as the iconic “Man with no Name”. Looking badass. So I stopped. I watched.
What the fuck just happened? Did anyone else see this shit? Did he interview an invisible Obama? Did he fucking ramble for 10 minutes incoherently? Who cleared this? Did someone give this “speech” the thumbs up, or did they just figure “Nah, Clint’s got this.”
I’m far from a republican, but I found myself wishing that the guy with the hook from “Showtime at the Apollo” would softshoe onto the stage and drag his ass off.
What a fucking epic faceplant - and that’s probably the most mainstream political event I’ll watch all election season.
I’ll say it again - for the umpteenth fucking time - We are horribly, irredeemably fucked. What a goddamned zoo.
kingklosk asked: Hey, I just spent hours listening to your "The Ego Answers" videos, while playing video-games, that did not require sound. Anyway, I was just wondering if you will ever make videos like that again, or just videos in general where you tell your audience stories of your life. Because frankly, my life is boring as shit, so I really enjoy hearing about other people's less boring lives. Just wondering.
I think that the problem lies in the fact that the type of videos you describe above are the ONLY videos I have any real interest in making at this time. I love telling stories, and I love riffing on multiple topics in a given video, but I’m not convinced that youtube is the best venue for that type of content at this time. I feel like a podcast would better suit me, but I’m relatively clueless on setting one up and promoting it, and I’m horrible at imposing deadlines on myself.
I’m also not convinced that my audience would continue to be interested in my content if I committed to the format above all else.
TL:DR - yes, I plan on doing more answers videos, I’m just not sure how, or when.